Her eyes snapped to mine, “When?”
“The Alpha and Luna ceremony, I thought that-“
“That I was going to become the Luna,” She replied dryly, and it hurt me that she still had such strong feelings about it.
I had to admit that it also hurt because part of me hoped that it would all just wash away when she met me, but I knew well enough that the betrayal that she went through wasn’t fixed by meeting someone else.
“Yes.” She looked at me, her green eyes fixed on my face but I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. Some of her hair slipped over her shoulder in soft waves momentarily distracting me.
“And, what happened?” She looked at where my hand held hers, bringing her other to draw patterns over our intertwined hands.
It felt so nice, not just the sparks that her touch elicited, but the way that it felt so natural. She seemed comfortable, not thinking about bonds or second chances, and just settling into us. It was a motion that I could see her doing frequently, for what Goddess willing would be the rest of our lives.
She paused her fingers fixing her stare at me and I swallowed.
“I showed up and waited for you, I wanted to see if the feelings that I felt were real. I knew that you were fated to another but I hadn’t felt anything like that and I just had to put it behind me. I thought by going there then I would realize it was a fluke and I could get those thoughts of you out of my mind.” She smiled and resumed her drawing on my hand.
“When you weren’t there I immediately confronted Nolan, Alpha Nolan I guess. I asked where you were and he said that you rejected each other and then that blonde came up and I left. He didn’t know where you were and I didn’t need to waste any more time with him. I wanted to find you but no one knew where you went and then I had so much else going on and I didn’t even think you were really my mate. What I felt was different but it wasn’t like what I feel now.” I admitted.
“There’s no need to explain or what I’m assuming is a sort of apology from you,” Willa looked at me frowning, “You’re acting as if you should have come and rescued me. You didn’t even know that I was your mate and I didn’t need anyone to rescue me.” She said matter-of-factly.
“I know, I know that. I just was saying if I knew for certain that you were my mate I would have combed the entire planet myself looking for you.” A smile spread across her face even though she bit her lip trying to hide it.
“Maybe it was better this way. I’m not sure if I really believe in fate or destiny, not anymore. But maybe we were supposed to meet later.” She shrugged, “I had a beautiful few years with my parents and Emmett, something I wouldn’t have gotten if you would have waltzed in and locked me in your penthouse apartment.”
I couldn’t help but laugh and she looked startled for a second before gifting me one of the biggest smiles I’d seen from her. It made my stomach flip.
“I’ve never heard you laugh like that, not really.” She admitted, her face flushed slightly pink. Something I doubt others would notice it was so subtle.
“I like you, Willa,” I let that hang in the air, “F.uck the mate bond, I like you,” even after I said it I didn’t wish I could take it back.
Her eyes slowly met mine, her fingers still brushing my hand.
“I think, no, I know, I like you.” She admitted.
(Willa)
Saying that out loud shifted something in me. I knew it was true and I wasn’t as confused anymore. He made it clear that he would let me set my own pace and wouldn’t push anything on me, and I believed him.
Being with him, I felt seen. He listened to me in a way that I never knew outside of Lola and my parents, and now Cali. I genuinely liked talking to him and seeing his mask slip away and show who he was underneath made me like him even more.
I knew he had things to share and I wouldn’t push him either, but I was beginning to trust him. Trust that he was different, and I hoped the Moon Goddess wouldn’t make another mistake.
“Good,” He smiled, “That’s settled then,”
“What’s settled?” I paused running my fingers over his knuckles.
“We’ve established something,”
“I guess,” I smiled at him.
“I’m not going anywhere,” His voice got quieter, “No matter how long it takes for you to trust me, to realize that I wont let anything hurt you or do anything to hurt you. I’ll be here,” I swallowed having to avert my gaze.
“Look at me,” He pleaded and I did, “Don’t look away please, I know it might not be comfortable but I need you to see how much I mean it,”
D.amnit I felt like I could almost cry.
“I do believe you, but it’s not just me this time. I don’t know what happened with Nolan, I never got answers as to why he chose to reject me and choose someone that wasn’t his mate. So I’m worried that the novelty might wear off or the bond might fade,” I shrugged.
I felt that it was different.
Looking back, I don’t think Nolan really listened, he never asked for my opinion on anything but I thought that was just because it wasn’t part of Luna duties. I don’t think he really took me into consideration, I never felt like his equal. I used to think that was because I was obsessed with him before he even knew who I was, but he didn’t ever do anything to make me feel like I was important to him or the pack.
“I already know that this is different, and I don’t want you to resent me trying to sort through all of this. I’m just wary because of how things happened last time and how he treated me at the start was a lot better than how it ended,” That was an understatement. To be honest though, even at the start with Nolan it was nothing like this. Then again, he didn’t have to try with me, I fully accepted him.
Nolan seemed addicted to me in the beginning, he was protective and maybe he saw me as someone who needed saving. He probably wanted that. But now that I could sort through it without the love or l.ust clouding my vision I knew that Nolan started to lose interest way before he rejected me.
I honestly didn’t really know much about him. We spent a lot of time together, but I don’t think we had many if any, deeper conversations. Not that I didn’t try, especially in the beginning, but usually it turned into s.ex.
The level of understanding that I felt from Caspein even in the past few days was more than I ever got from Nolan. It did a lot to quell some of the anxiety but I couldn’t completely ignore that I still held that fear that he would leave me.
“What are you thinking about?” Caspien reached over and brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear, I leaned into his touch and he rested his palm on my cheek.
“Just that this is different, I know it is. What I feel for you and how you’ve made me feel is deeper than the mate bond. I want you to know that I understand that. I just need time to make sure that it will stick.”
He chuckled once, rubbing his thumb over my cheek. I never wanted this moment to end. I took a breath cataloging the sensation and the feeling that swept through me. I would replay the warmth of his touch and the calmness that I had around him whenever I needed to feel grounded.
“It will stick, my wolf suggested a tattoo if that would help,” He laughed again.
“What’s your wolf like?” I asked.
“Atlas, he is a teddy bear.”
I snorted, “Seriously?” I tried to imagine the powerful Alpha Prince’s wolf being a softy, “I figured your wolf would be possessive and dominant, no offense to either of you.”
“I let people believe that, but I think one of us has to stay grounded.” He removed his hand from my cheek and the coldness that replaced it made me frown.
“I find it hard to talk to people, for many reasons,” I resumed tracing the back of his hand, craving more of his touch, my eyes met his, as I waited for him to go on.
“The titles don’t help, and neither does the reputation that I didn’t build for myself. I knew it would be like this, my dad warned me, but it still didn’t prepare me for what it would be like taking over as Alpha. Even before then people saw me as a prince and an heir, the only person I really connected with is now my Beta, Griffen. I knew my Gamma since we were pups, but besides that I had acquaintances, and that was it.”
I frowned, “That must have been lonely,” I couldn’t imagine him growing up where people judged him by the title and feared him for it, even as a boy.
“That was one of the first things that attracted me to you,” He commented, “Besides you in that striking silver dress of course.”
I snorted, “Nolan thought I looked like a s.lut,”
Caspien’s eyes went wide, “He sounds possessive and insecure.” He commented and I raised an eyebrow, “Strong men don’t care what their partners wear, it sounds like he didn’t want others looking at you,”
I didn’t quite believe that “I was going to be Luna, I had an image to uphold.” I shrugged, “It was hard walking that line of his mate and his Luna, I never quite got the balance right to appease him and his mother. I don’t think I was cut out for it.”
“You are,” He squeezed my hand gently, “A real Luna isn’t meant to bow down to her Alpha or his mother. You weren’t meant to appease everyone, you were going to be a leader of the pack. To be a leader you can’t succumb to everyone else’s wishes.”
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