“Do you want me to call Martin’s mother?” I asked Finlay. He had stopped outside his office in the pack house and for a moment he dropped his mask and I could see how tired he looked. He rubbed his hand over his face.
“No, I will call her,” he said after hesitating.
“You have a lot on your plate, I can do it,” I insisted. He looked at me and then he turned his eyes to my shoulder.
“Have you been seen by a healer?” he asked.
“It’s not that bad. It will heal,” I told him.
“Don’t be so stubborn. Go and have yourself checked out, then make sure the pack is alright. I will make the call to the council and then I will call Martin’s mother.”
“Fine. Let me know if you need me for something. I will be around,” I said.
“Thank you.” We stood there for a moment before I saw him slip his mask on and head for his office. I headed for the room where the healers had set up. There weren’t many people in there, as most who needed help had already received it . They took a look at my shoulder. I got a stern talking to for not coming sooner. They put on some ointment and told me to come back if I got a fever or if the area around the wounds got hot. I headed out and spent the rest of the day just walking around, talking to the pack. Most of them were relieved the attack had been over so quickly, but everyone mourned the loss of our Beta. There was a lot of anger, but I tried to steer the feelings towards community and helping each other. Besides Martin, we had lost two warriors and five more were severely wounded. We needed to make sure to take care of them and their families. Matilda was right there and worked with me. I had asked her to organise the funerals. Medow was making sure the injured wolves had what they needed as well as their families. Overall we were in a better condition than I would have thought.
‘The council has decided the Alpha of the Rolling Hills pack has forfeited his life. The execution will be done tomorrow by my hand,’ Finlay sent a mindlink to the pack later in the evening. ‘The rest of the captives are ours to do with as we please. We will make the decision tomorrow as well,’ he continued. The news affected the pack positively. Everyone felt they had been given the chance to seek the revenge we all wanted. By the time I was ready to end the day, it was close to midnight. Instead of going to my apartment, I headed for Finlay’s house. I didn’t bother to knock, but walked inside and into the living room. Finlay was sitting on the couch in the dark room. His elbows on his knees and his head resting in his hands. I walked up to the fireplace. I knew he always kept it stocked this time of year. It lit without an issue. I walked over to the couch and sat down next to him.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” he said without looking up.
“I know how you feel, but you will find a way,” I told him.
“Did you get your shoulder checked out?”
“I did. They told me I was wasting their time,” I said. Finlay turned his head and gave me a sideway look. “Fine. They scolded me for not coming sooner and gave me an ointment. But that’s just because all healers think it’s the end of the world if you don’t come and see them when you stub your toe.”
“I can’t deal with losing you as well.” His voice was frail and thin. It was like the thought itself hurt him. I sighed and bent forward so I could lean my forehead on his slumped shoulder blade.
“You won’t. It really isn’t that bad. It hurts like hell but it’s healing and at the most I will have a scar on my shoulder. But I’m not going anywhere,” I promised him.
“Good.” We sat like that for a while in silence. “How are the boys doing?” he asked.
“Good. I talked to them after dinner and they have got over the worst of it. Give them a week or two and they will see it as scary, but exciting. I think we kept them away from seeing the worst of it. They were more than happy with all the hot coco and attention they got after.”
“You,” he said.
“Sorry?”
“You kept them away from the worst of it, not we. And you kept them safe when you were discovered.”
“And I failed to get them out of there. I decided we needed to stay put and by doing so I forced the rest of you to come and rescue us. It’s my fault we lost him,” I told Finlay.
“Amie,” he objected and sat up for the first time. I took a deep breath and shook my head as the tears started rolling down my face. I had been keeping them at bay until now. But right now it was just Finlay and I knew I could be weak around him.
“I made the decision that ended with us losing Martin, our Beta. That is on me,” I insisted.
“It’s not your fault. You made the only reasonable decision you could make. If you had tried to get the boys out you would have been detected and we would have lost the three of you,” Finlay told me. He gently put his arm around me and drew me closer to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and he rested his on top of mine. “His mother was devastated. She cried and asked if I would send his ashes back to them.”
“He wouldn’t have wanted that,” I said.
“No, he wouldn’t. I told her we would scatter his ashes over our pack land. The land he gave his life to protect and which he loved.”
“It was the right thing to do,” I assured him.
“I know. But it felt horrible.” I put my arms around his waist and we sat like that. We shared our sorrow and let each other have time to think. When dawn’s first light was visible outside, Finlay sighed. “We will need a new Beta,” he said. My first instinct was to object. The position belonged to Martin. But he wasn’t with us any longer. I nodded as best I could in my position.
“Do you have any candidates?” I asked.
“One.”
“Who?” I asked while I tried to figure it out on my own.
“You.”
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